"We are not our parts; our parts are not their burdens."
Dr Richard Schwartz
What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems recognises that we are multi-dimensional beings shaped by a complex and often demanding world, and that different parts of us develop in response to this. Some parts may carry painful experiences, while others take on protective roles in an effort to keep us safe or functioning.
When these roles become extreme — something that is especially common in relational or complex trauma — people may feel internally conflicted, disconnected, or stuck, with these inner patterns affecting how life is experienced more broadly.
Rather than continuing to cope, IFS supports your inner world to heal through coming to know itself again and through releasing the burdens of the past. This can often lead to re-discovering the needs and dreams that were left behind and moving towards a life where these needs are met and where these dreams might be realised.
For many, IFS becomes a life practice — a way of relating to oneself and the world that is non-pathologising, hopeful, imaginative and loving. One becomes able to hold complexity with clarity, curiosity, confidence and care, which can make all the difference in this strange world of ours.
What is this therapy like?
A key aspect of the work is learning to connect inwardly and relate consistently to parts of yourself, in a way that feels safe and truthful. Everyone is different and we discover together how this process works for you.
With your permission, we often turn toward your inner experience experientially — noticing body sensations, emotions, images and thoughts as they arise. Alternatively we might do parts mapping or discussion around inner dynamics and, lastly, guided hypnosis can be useful at times for resourcing. See my post 'The resourceful unconscious' for more info.
Always we are building and strengthening the relationship between your Self (the you that is not a part) and your parts.
IFS can at times be understood as a form of light trance or absorbed attention. It is not cathartic but it can be deep and there are ways of supporting the system if feelings become intense.
See my full list of FAQ addressing protector concerns directly.
"History isn't just the story of bad people doing bad things. It's quite as much a story of people trying to do good things. But somehow, something goes wrong."
C.S. Lewis
No bad parts
Therapy can bring up strong emotions and protective responses. Different parts of you may show up in different ways. Over time, it often becomes clear that each part is trying to help or protect in the only way it knows how. My role is to accompany you through this process of "coming back together" with gentleness, curiosity, playfulness, and care — appreciating good intentions while also acknowledging the impact of strategies that may no longer be serving you.
There are many moments in this kind of therapy that can be pleasantly surprising. In fact, whilst some parts may fear connecting inside, most of the time the experience is illuminating, comforting, regenerating and settling for the system. This is a constraint to release model after all.
How change happens: neuroplasticity and emotional memory
Working with parts can lead to real and lasting change, influencing how the mind and body respond to external stressors and how we experience ourselves in the world. When emotional memories are met with awareness and relationship, new neural pathways can form, allowing long-held responses to soften and change. From a neuroscientific perspective, this reflects the brain's capacity to reorganise itself when old patterns are met with safety and care. See my post 'Parts, Memory, and Regulation' for more info.
Who I work with
I tend to work with people whose difficulties begin to make sense as they come into direct contact with their inner world — the patterns, beliefs, and relationships that have quietly organised themselves around past experience; people who don't need pathologising, but who are looking for support to relate differently to themselves. This often includes people affected by complex or relational trauma — where patterns of coping, protection, or disconnection formed in response to early or repeated experiences of un-safety in relationship.
The work is a process of inner reorganisation and healing. Clients don't need to know all the theory, but they do need a genuine desire to grow toward a fuller, more Self-led life — one oriented toward integration, meaning, and self-realisation, rather than symptom relief alone.
